1. With snakeskin shoes back in fashion, we could get plenty of nice EU funding to set up snake farms in the midlands. 

2. Because there are so many Irish Eves just hanging around orchards dithering about the apple thing. 

3. Because all those politicians, lawyers and traffic wardens must need company. 

4. Because their arrival might encourage a few of those fine snake-hipped Latino men to make the move across the pond. 

5. Because centres could be set up for double-crossed women who need practice in shouting "You snake!" with the right shade of outrage. 

6. Because it's just plain weird that only us and New Zealand don't have them. 

7. Because primary schools could save money on zoo entry fees - small children could be terrified in the safety of their own gardens. 

8. Because we need something new to get Freudian about. 

9. Because why should Ireland's snake fetishists suffer from one dead saint's anti-serpent thing? 

10. Because maybe if we had some real snakes in the grass, there wouldn't be so many spin doctors, journalists and tax inspectors. 


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